Analogies Between Marriage And Faith

I never thought I’d in any way, shape, or form be expressing these ideas publicly. They just peg me as your typical right-wing, corn-fed, midwestern Judeo-Christian-dogma-asserting-non-intellectual ignoramus. I’m sorry if the use of that stereotype offends or isolates anybody, but I feel it is a legitimate stereotype and its use represents the exception to my rule against them. But really, for the past few days now, these authentic realizations have forced themselves upon me with a crystal-clear lucidity I just can’t seem to shake.

Anyone who knows me or spends time here knows that I recently asked my girlfriend of 8 years to marry me. I’ll quote the supporting paragraph from that post explaining my motivation to propose, and what she said that was in effect the straw that broke the camel’s back and removed all opposition. In the context of expressing concern over the deep commitment involved with marriage, I noted concern over,

"…wanting to be sure that this was right person."

However, I further reasoned,

"I now realize no such surety exists, and the real meaning of it all is to commit, as they say, for better or for worse…a few things really changed my mind, among them the fact that I’d been secretly leaning towards the proposition for the past three years. The main thing was a comment she made after a disagreement, something to the effect of me questioning the entire relationship every time some trivial or not-so-trivial discomfort arose. She was right. The wiser goal is not so much the perfect relationship, but cultivating the perfect response to personal differences so the relationship might evolve beyond the poison of petty disagreements."

Now I didn’t have 100% certainty. It’s interesting that the Greek word referring to conversion in the New Testament is metanoia and the earmark of the term is a ‘change of heart.’ I cannot think of a better euphemism for marriage, or the impulse of love. It is a sudden acknowledgment of the need to evolve behavior in the continual direction of love, support and acceptance. It is exactly what Club of Budapest’s Ervin Laszlo articulates as planetary consciousness in the manifesto of the same name.

It’s been said that the best way to create happiness for oneself is to give happiness freely. Incidentally, marriage has unforeseen benefits I had no idea even existed and that had no influence on the decision in the first place. Now folks this is not "lemme see what I can get out of marriage." As I said, I spontaneously asked the question with minimal consideration of secondary effects. I mention the matter at all only to illustrate the point that unforeseen benefits came from this largely intuitive decision, a decision that was more the result of ‘faith’ or ‘love’ and not necessarily cold, calculated logic. For example, my fiance’s sister, who also works in the business, is going to be more likely to pitch projects my way on account of my commitment to her sister and to her family, which is ultimately, in a roundabout way, a commitment to her. And if that’s not a genuine example of positive familial collectivism I don’t know what is. The trick is extending this into the world at large, extending your consciousness and love beyond self and family.

Now a smart monkey can rack its brain to no end trying to rationalize the logical potential that its significant other is in fact the right one, but in the end, I would imagine that for those who choose to make it, faith, like marriage, is an intuitive decision and not necessarily always a logically supportable deduction.

Of course, this is not to say that logically supportable deductions can’t be made to support the idea of marriage or faith, either.